Conceited Hero Support’s Self Loathing Chapter 4

I've never been a victim of writer's block. In fact I was once known as a child prodigy who could weave a story that could provoke the thoughts of all my peers...NOT! Although I've always been praised as intelligent, I am always told I don't follow through with my plans. I found I could only write in two conditions, after finding a strong resolve or after reaching a certain level of despair. Perhaps this is why I find myself still immature despite understanding many adult concepts...

I emulate.

I write most of this in past present tense. I'm trying to get my thoughts down as they happened in the hopes that I'll understand my own state of mind. I want to genuinely and sincerely feel a certain something but I'm afraid.... __________________ It was about midnight when it happened. I walked downstairs and … Continue reading I emulate.

Conceited Hero Support’s Self Loathing Chapter 6

I often felt bad for my grandfather who raised a female dominant household. Thinking that girls were more emotional. Of the girls I've met however they are neither more nor less emotional than us males. They are just as crazy and easily swayed by their emotions as us boys are. And neither side is capable of sustaining a strong resolve on their own. Both sides will crack under a certain amount of pressure... even as strong willed parents.

Conceited Hero Support’s Self Loathing Chapter 5

I often wonder, "Why don't I exert enough effort into the things I do?". I feel that my emotions are often faked... whenever I act a certain way it feels like just that, an act. I would think to myself "oh I should be happy now right?" and try to mimic a happy look smiling, raising a dimple or two, squinting my eyes, fluttering my eyelashes and giving out verbal assurances of my enjoyment. All the while thinking in the back of my mind "Am I really feeling this way? Aren't I just smiling for the sake of appearances" therefore I study pop culture and spend hours practicing speech and microexpressions in front of a mirror, as I think of ways to make people who expect me to be happy more willing to put in the effort after seeing me give a smile of confidence. I should probably continuing study the mechanics of empathy.

Conceited Hero Support’s Self Loathing Chapter 3

Chapter 3 Entertainer's Passion There are two things in this world that a person needs in order to have a great life. These are namely, Passion and Luck. If you're missing both then you are doomed to mediocrity and a boring lonely life. If you lack Luck then no matter how badly gou want something you might never get it because the world doesn't throw you a bone. To lack Passion however... is the worst of the three. If you didn't have either at least you would've been able to live knowing that you were gharanteed to fail anyway. If you lack Luck then at least gou had a goal to pursue that would let you live your life if not satisfactorily at least wholesomely. But if you lack passion... and opportunities fall at your feet. Then you would live your life mediocrally, never taking a risk because you never desire what you could have. If you would simply put in the effort.

Conceited Hero Support’s Self Loathing Chapter 2

Chapter 2 Establishment. Please hold... hmm... ah. These chapters take quite a bit of time to write, because as much I'd love to be gung ho with my writing and just write as the ideas hit me, I still go through intense moments where I'm thinking of how to build my world of Dansgey as cohesively as possible. And during these intense moments, per my ADHD fashion, I often find myself putting my writing device down, gazing blankly into space...

Conceited Hero Support’s Self Loathing – Chapter 1

Chapter 1 A Born Failure. Alright so... first impressions are always important right? This is the first chap- oh shoot I already typed the chapter number twice ah oops.... well this is the story that I've been working on. Well I'm still just beginning. As you'll see in this first chapter. ______________________________________________  ["You are not … Continue reading Conceited Hero Support’s Self Loathing – Chapter 1